


I Would Kill For You

by GhostTEETH



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Allergies, Body Image, Fist Fights, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Multi, Platonic Relationships, Pyromania, Starbucks, They/Them Pronouns for Bubby (Half-Life)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27005551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostTEETH/pseuds/GhostTEETH
Summary: Gordon is severely allergic to soy.The barista thinks he should lose weight, and that soy is healthier for him.Bubby likes lots of espresso.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 15
Kudos: 311





	I Would Kill For You

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally SO DUMB, but I needed domestic-causing-problems-out-of-love because I randomly had this idea and it wouldn't go away.
> 
> Title and fic generally inspired by my friend, Phi, the government assigned Bubby kinnie. This one's for you.
> 
> TW for body image and body shaming!!  
> And yes I'm projecting onto Gordon again, I have a severe soy allergy and I also feel severe secondhand embarrassment despite having 0 thoughts ever about anything

They were waiting for their drinks to be ready, Gordon silently praying that Benrey would _not_ suddenly act a fool in public. After the last incident ("If they didn't want me bathing in public, why put the bird bath in the mall, feetman? Huh?"), Gordon had decided he might have to change his name and leave the country forever, should something else happen. Tommy had explained to Benrey that bathing in fountains was not okay, and that Gordon would actually genuinely cease to exist if he did that again.

This did not calm Gordon's anxieties about going out.

Upon seeing Bubby with a lighter, he realized that he possibly had more things to worry about, like arson.

"Hello, Gordon!" Dr. Coomer's voice boomed across the Starbucks. He approached with his arms outstretched, ready for a hug, and nearly clotheslined a child in the process. The child, nor its mother, seemed to notice, but Gordon did. He sighed, trying to ease his panic.

"Hey, Dr. Coomer. How's it been?" Gordon said, giving Dr. Coomer a hug.

Dr. Coomer crunched Gordon's ribs before responding, "Bubby and I have been quite well! How have you been?"

Gordon wheezed as Dr. Coomer put him down. "Been great, Dr. Coomer-"

"Hello, Tommy! Hello, Benrey!"

"H-hi, Dr. Coomer!" Tommy said, grinning and doing a soft wave.

"yo."

"We, uh, we ordered your drinks!" Tommy said. Gordon was thankful that Tommy had everyone's orders memorized. It made getting food a lot easier.

Bubby plopped down in a chair next to Gordon. "You got mine?" Bubby said, glossing over Tommy's comment.

"I made sure they put an extra shot of espresso in." Gordon said. "I know you like it better that way. Even watched them do it."

Bubby looked Gordon intensely. "I would kill for you, Gordon." Gordon nodded.

The barista, an older woman who Tommy had seemed very uncomfortable talking to, put a tray with 5 drinks on it and yelled out, "Sunkist!"

"I shall retrieve our drinks, gentlemen!" Dr. Coomer announced, walking over to the counter with (unnecessary) purpose, and promptly returned.

"Hello, Gordon!"

"Hey."

As usual, Benrey chugged his all at once. Bubby seemed to inspect theirs, almost like they would be able to tell if the extra espresso was _truly_ in their drink. Tommy had his reusable straw, as always, as did Dr. Coomer.

Gordon took a sip of his drink, and froze.

He cleared his throat. "Hey, uh. Does this taste sweet...?" He held his drink out, and Tommy took a sip.

"Uh.. it, it kind of- _Oh my god, Gordon-"_

Gordon's face was already breaking into hives as he tried to take deep breaths to calm himself.

Somewhere in the background, Gordon could register Dr. Coomer calling an ambulance, but his brain was getting hazy fast. He could feel, or see, he wasn't even sure now, Benrey getting an epipen ready. He closed his eyes, panic setting in, but no longer able to actually panic. Tommy was next to him, leaning over (when did he end up on the ground?) and saying something, but Gordon could hear fuck all.

And suddenly, he was on a stretcher, barely able to see the table they had been at, now on the floor.

"You motherfuckers put soy in his drink because you think he could lose weight?!" Bubby's voice cut through the fog.

Gordon's eyes focused for long enough for him to see Bubby jump the counter, already throwing hands.

"Oh, excellent, Dr. Bubby!" Dr. Coomer yelled, jumping over after.

"Nice." Gordon said, before completely losing consciousness.

***

At some point, Benrey had basically crawled into the hospital bed with Gordon. Security and the nurses had given up on keeping him from doing so, seeing as he kept getting in.

Tommy waited patiently, knowing Gordon was ok, but would be out for a while. When Gordon _did_ begin to stir, he was immediately by the bed, grabbing onto his hand.

"Hey..." Gordon mumbled.

"Hi..." Tommy said. "How are you... you... are you feeling?"

"Tired. Like, super fucking tired." Gordon laughed.

"They gave you lots of benadryl, cause? It helps?" Gordon nodded. "Dr. Coomer and Bubby made a pillow fort for when we get home!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Bubby wants to make a bonfire. Said we can roast marshmallows!"

Gordon didn't know what bonfire with Bubby meant. Or would entail. He felt like maybe it just meant arson of a Starbucks.

***

Upon getting home, Gordon was placed in the pillow fort and wrapped up into a burrito. Bubby had actually cleaned out the fireplace and made a neat little fire in it, surprising Gordon.

Dr. Coomer had already eaten all the marshmallows, stated shortly after another skull-rattling "Hello, Gordon!"

Benrey played with Gordon's hair as a movie played in the background, one of Tommy's favorites that they frequently used as white noise after stressful days.

"Hey... Bubby. Did you punch that barista?" Gordon asked, wondering if he'd hallucinated the whole thing.

Bubby scoffed. "I told you I'd kill for you."

"The barista unfortunately survived! But no charges can be pressed thanks to negotiations with the police done by our dear Benrey!" Dr. Coomer said proudly.

Gordon decided he didn't want to know what that meant.

"I told you I would kill for you." Bubby repeated, nodding sagely.

Gordon gave them a thumbs up.

**Author's Note:**

> Dr. Coomer sees a fist fight and is like oh hell yea lets go !!! And honestly we love that for him


End file.
